2024: (More Than a) Touch of Grey
Something to listen to while you read…
2024’s Playlist
- Forever in Sunset - Ezra Furman (All of Us Flames)
- Tripe Face Boogie (Live) - Little Feat (Waiting for Columbus (Deluxe Edition))
- Moon - The Lemon Twigs (Songs for the General Public)
- Roundabout (Live) - Yes (Yessongs (Live))
- Future Me Hates Me - The Beths (Future Me Hates Me)
- Expert In a Dying Field - The Beths (Expert In a Dying Field)
- Lose You (feat. Soccer Mommy) - Bully, Soccer Mommy (Lucky for You)
- Atom Bomb - Bully (Atom Bomb)
- What Was I Made For? (From The Motion Picture “Barbie”) - Billie Eilish (What Was I Made For? (From The Motion Picture “Barbie”))
- Franklins Tower (Live 2019-11-25) - Joe Russo’s Almost Dead (Brooklyn, NY :: 2019-11-25)
- Karpis - The Jesus Lizard (Goat)
- Sigma Oasis - Phish (Sigma Oasis)
- F*!#In’ Up - Neil Young (Ragged Glory)
- Call It Love - Poco (Legacy)
- Wsod - Shellac (To All Trains)
- King’s Crossing - Elliott Smith (From A Basement On The Hill)
- Ivory Tower (Outtake) - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (Déjà Vu)
- Southern Man - Neil Young (After the Gold Rush)
- Cats Under the Stars (Live) - Jerry Garcia Band (GarciaLive, Vol. Four: March 22nd, 1978 Veteran’s Hall (Live))
- Brokedown Palace (Live At Newcastle City Hall, April 11, 1972) - Grateful Dead (Steppin’ Out With the Grateful Dead - England ‘72)
- This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads (Speaking In Tongues)
- Wildflowers - Tom Petty (Wildflowers & All the Rest)
- Outlaw Man - David Blue (Nice Baby and The Angel)
- Sleepwalker - The Kinks (Sleepwalker)
This year has been really tough for my family. For a long time, especially the end of last year, life just felt like it was one bad news blow after another. Near the top of the list1 is that our beloved cat, Threepwood, was diagnosed with a heart defect. Her medicine schedule and general care has upended our entire lives. Threepwood’s sickness has taught me a lot about caring for another life in its sunset. It’s sad, and I’ve cycled through many emotions time and time again. At the end of the day, what matters is that I love this cat, and I love this cat because I choose to love this cat, and in my mind, that counts for something.
When I was a tween, and I had been upset about something, my mom told me that I shouldn’t bottle up my emotions. That’s one of those pieces of advice that is heard everywhere, but I’ll admit that it’s not something that made a lot of sense to me at the time. What I did not and could not imagine then was how tough some days as an adult really are. I’ve spent a lot of time this year feeling ill-prepared for everything.
This year I also faced a lot of work-related stress. Since I started my professional career I have attempted (mostly, but not always successfully) to set clear time boundaries - I’m one of those guys that leaves at 5pm on the dot unless I have a signiciantly good reason not to. One area I have not always been able to fence off has been my emotional distance from work. It sounds silly to say, but I want to take at least a little pride in and derive some satisfaction from the work I do. That seems reasonable, right? I know I am but a cog in a machine, but I want to be a shiny cog! Especially if I am working on things with real, external customers.
Unfortunately, the personnel situation around me and above me changed, and I found that it wasn’t going to be healthy for me stay on the team - I was constantly thinking about work, it was upsetting me, and no matter who I talked to or expressed concerns to, nothing improved. It made me very sad to leave, because I really liked the organization and products we had, but I had to make the choice for my mental health. It was a great decision.
I still work for Microsoft though - just in the company proper now! Maybe I can resurrect some of my old QBasic and Visual Basic code…
I looked at my past few years of posts before writing this one, and I have to say, they have a negative trend… This year, I’m going to try to make an active effort to think more positively. I’m a little fuzzy on the details, but I’m confident I can do… something!
- Of things I want to talk about here.